Holy Toledo

Holy hell, I'm 30 weeks today!!! I'm bouncing between extreme excitement, unbelievable anxiety, and pure helplessness at this point. I suppose none of those emotions will go away once I actually have this kiddo in my arms, eh? ha

I haven't done this in awhile....

How far along? 30 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: 22-24 lbs, depending on whose scale you are looking at.
Maternity clothes? No denying that!
Stretch marks? Not yet...
Sleep: Between the crazy parenting anxiety dreams that have cropped up in the last few days, getting up 3x to pee, the fact that my normally incredible sleep.number bed is uncomfortable no matter what, and this heat wave our a/c can't keep up with = not great.

Best moment this week: Seeing and feeling real evidence of the baby responding to my and my husband's voices... it's the most heart-melting event yet!
Movement: She definitely has regular sleep patterns now, and constant hiccups (which I evilly think is hilarious), but the kid is transverse, so hopefully she will boogie into a heads-down position soon. Also: my belly-button has a bruise around it! No lie. She seems to take her feet and push out on it as hard as she can, several times a day. Lovely child.
Food cravings: Nothing at the moment - I don't have a lot of stomach room, so nothing sounds too appealing anymore
Gender: girl
Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks once or twice a day

Belly Button in or out? Nonexistent? Completely flat.
What I miss: Strangers not coming up and telling me I MUST be wrong on my due date and I HAVE to be full-term already. Apparently I'm the size of a hippo to some people.

What I am looking forward to: Getting the nursery finished - I really hate waiting around for furniture, etc. I'm getting extremely antsy/anxious about everything getting done in time.
Weekly Wisdom: Go to Mother.hood/someplace comparable and get a bra fitting - regularly! You might not realize you've grown as much as you have, and that upper-back pain might actually be from the wrong bra!

Milestones: Being 75% of the way done with this pregnancy - it's insane to realize! And apparently by now, if for some terrible reason I were to deliver today, our little baby (still with no name, poor girl!) would have >95% chance of being healthy! It's such an unspeakable relief.

Things to Smile About::

1) After a touch-and-go last week of uncertainty, I passed the three-hour GT test!! (Yes...that means I failed the first one; sigh....BUT:) No gestational diabetes!!!!

2) Niagara Falls, while exhausting, was wonderful. Drew and I got some much-needed alone time, and it was such a special way to celebrate our third anniversary. Pictures to come as soon as I do a little editing.

3) I am officially in the third trimester, and have begun every-two-week appointments. I actually scheduled all of my remaining appointments (through 41 weeks, assuming I'll need that many) due to the tendency for the appts to fill up so quickly/my fairly restrictive teaching schedule. Kind of scary, but also amazing: I only have a maximum of nine appointments left!

4) My smart board was installed in my classroom! Woo hoo for being technologically up to date! :) I can't wait to play around with it.

5) Drew and I *may* finally be heading toward an agreement on the baby's name. This has been a frustrating process, as he is VERY opinionated about names and once he gets it in his head he wants something like this, it is hard to change... even though I wasn't completely sold on his #1 choice. I'd love to share, but I think we are keeping it a surprise. :D

6) I met the new midwife at my OB/GYN practice, and she is awesome - very kind and extremely knowledgeable. One negative: she won't be delivering until after the first of the year. However, she does do the office visits, so I'm sure I'll still see her in the next few months. Also cool: the other two midwives haven't left, so there are now officially more of them than there are OBs at the practice. I also got definitive confirmation at my appointment today that they will not induce until about 41 weeks, which makes me pretty happy!

7) When we toured the maternity ward last night during our childbirth class, we not only got to visit with a woman who just had triplets the day before (~6 lbs each, too!) , but also with a woman who had literally given birth just over an HOUR before... and got their very candid and totally different birthing experiences. Seeing those babies just made me melt. I absolutely cannot wait until I am the one laying on that bed with the baby's hospital crib beside me!


More details/pictures to follow when I have more time!

MIA...but pictures are in order!

It seems to be a current trend in the blogosphere; I guess it's just that time of year. People are spending more time outdoors, away from home, away from the computer. I have been no exception - but I am here! I am 27 & 1/2 weeks pregnant, and grateful for every moment.

For expedition's sake, here are some highlights of my life over the past few weeks:

*My parents and niece came to visit me while my sister was spending two weeks in Jamaica (jealousssssssss....). Hannah loves the 4th of July parade which is shockingly large despite the town's small stature.

(A gaggle of hot pants....)

(My attempts to keep track of Hannie were thwarted my a stranger's disturbingly close butt.)

We also took in some local sights and a great party at my BIL's. Good times. Dad, Mom, Hannah, Drew

Kinzua Dam

* My 24ish week appointment went well, with the exception of me bringing up my weight... and my anorexic-looking (yet lovable) midwife told me to slow 'er down. I took it way too personally - after all, I was up 17 pounds. WTF?!?! Now I am up probably 20, heh. Can't wait to see what the ob says in two weeks if that continues.

*I went to York with my parents to help out with Han until my older sister got back to the States. We had an awesome relaxing time.

Hannie in the pool.

What a nine-year-old does when she has too much time on her hands:
[Poor Dave.]

Making cupcakes.

My younger sister and her husband came up from NC (with two of her dogs - her 100 lb. Great Dane puppy - yes, puppy! - and three-legged Pit Bull. She's a vet tech and has a bit of a bleeding heart for animals.) and Drew came down for the last weekend.

Me & Rory


The Mister... ooh baby!

Mom, Little Sis (+baby-to-be! - and Penelope), Big Sis

They also had a nice little baby shower for me with my female relatives! We got some good, cute stuff. It was great to have everyone under the same roof for the first time since Christmas, too.

After awhile, the smile muscles got frozen there...
...and I had a bit of a cupcake sugar high.

(The frame Hannah made for me - highlighting the bump!)

*When I returned home, we got our passport cards in the mail; woo hoo! Now we can go to Niagara Falls legally(in two days!!). The guy taking the pic wouldn't let me smile, so I look like some street gang ho's mugshot. Seriously. I kind of love it. I would post the pic but I'm not sure if that constitutes some sort of illegality to the U.S. Govt., so you'll have to use your imagination. Trust me; it's awesome. Awesomely baaaaad.

*Also in the mail upon my return: a letter from my school district announcing my tenure! Woo hoo for it being incredibly difficult to fire me! hahaha

*Speaking of school, I am about to head in there and have what will probably be a frustrating conversation with my head principal in a few moments regarding my schedule.... more complaining on that one to follow.

*One more thing: I took my glucose tolerance test for gestational diabetes this morning. It really wasn't terrible; the lemon-lime Glucola sort of just tasted like drinking a giant melted popsicle. I did feel pretty lightheaded toward the end of the hour, though. Fingers crossed I pass that!!!

*CRAP, how can I forget that I PASSED OUT in the ER last week while we were there for a cut my husband got on his eye?! Hilarious and drama-filled story will follow soon...

24 weeks

Not a lot of time this week, as my family has invaded our normally slightly anti-social abode (as in, we don't have many visitors up here in the forest, haha) and tomorrow I am headed to York to hang out with my niece for a week or two...

I'll just stick with the update, and try and stick in a pic of my expanding midsection another time...

How far along? 24 weeks 3 days

Total weight gain/loss: the holiday weekend/mom visiting combo has caused 2 more pounds to attach in the last four days.... nice trend.... bleh.
Maternity clothes? Yeah - still a mixture of the two types
Stretch marks? Nope, but my stomach skin is feeling awfully tight lately, so I'm thinking it's just a matter of time...
Sleep: Back to bad this week, as a lot of sitting outdoors has caused intense back pain to surface

Best moment this week: Drew feeling the kid's hiccups in utero... his face was so cute.
Movement: Constant - and starting to move up above my belly button now, so either she's a giantess or just roaming around all over the place now, instead of sticking to my pelvis (which my bending over ability appreciates!)
Food cravings: None for now, except maybe fruit again
Gender: girl
Labor Signs: Do Baxton Hicks count? I've been gettnig those once or twice a day

Belly Button in or out? Still in... stretching out pretty intensely
What I miss: Again, not getting judgement for drinking 4oz. of Mt. Dew... this time from my mother. Sigh.

What I am looking forward to: Not looking like a liar when I say to Drew/my mother/my best friend/etc. "Put your hand here! She's moving like crazy!" only to have her sit quietly until after they take their hand away.
Weekly Wisdom: Overdoing it at Chinese buffets = tight skin and difficulty breathing. Self control was not in my vocabulary last night. Sigh.

Milestones: My mom looking at my stomach and helping me begin to distinguish body parts... or at least that something was sticking out tightly by my belly button... a head? a butt? a very large foot? hahaha


Off to the Lucy-Desi Museum, then to get my hair cut (=desperately needed!)! Woo!

Summer's the Time for Vacation, or a Love Letter to NC

I love reading others' blogs (invited or not, heh) about their travel plans. Growing up, vacation only meant one thing for me: Nags Head, NC. It fascinates me to see all of the choices people have made to go on vacation. What?! There are places that don't have beaches attached that you can go in the summer?! The coastlines aren't the only tourist attractions in May through September?!?!


I have a truly spoiled, reason for this way of thinking: my grandmother owned a cottage directly across from the beach in the Outer Banks of NC, and that was the obligatory destination for our yearly family outings. We'd pack the full-sized Bronco to bursting, full of me, my sisters, towering stacks of puzzle books and storybooks (which later graduated to chapter books, then to full-fledged novels), more pillows and blankets than fifty grown men would require, and fruit snacks and Bugles (remember those?!). The seven-hour drive seemed to stretch for days in the back of that hot, sun-filled car. The first thing we would do, before unpacking the car, before running to the bathroom, before saying hello to whichever relatives might be there at the time, was to run across the road and straight onto the sand, take a deep breath, and relish in the fact that for another week, we were THERE. Where we belonged.



Since then, much has changed: they tore down the old, tiny, drafty cottage with no actual bathroom inside (you had to go outside to an attached bathroom - but you were at the be ac! Who cared?!) and replaced it with a much more glamorous version with quadruple the space and nice tall stilts to ward off flooding in hurricane season.
My grandfather has since passed away and my grandmother has signed over the deed to the cottage to my father and his two sisters, but ownership never mattered. Anyone was - and is - welcome, regardless of space. I've been there many a time when it was just my family of five enjoying the sights and apparent spaciousness of an oversized three-bedroom space, and just as many nights sleeping on a recliner in the living room or in a tent underneath the cottage, while there were approximately twenty other relatives slumbering in equally awkward corners of the home.
My grandfather preferred to sleep on the hammock under the cottage, regardless of how many people were sleeping above him. I am a grown, married woman now, with an extended family of my own to bring down to NC; it was a strange but wonderful experience to see my little sister hanging out with my brother-in-law in this most sacred of childhood haunts for me.

Being pregnant now has prevented us from planning the yearly pilgrimage down there this year; will I feel just as reluctant to take the journey with an infant next year? Or a fussy toddler?
We live five hours farther away now, which means less visits on my part. My grandmother is so old now she doesn't spend Memorial Day through Labor Day in the cottage, and I hate the thought that my children might not know the joy of spending an entire summer living on the coast as I did. Sigh.

This year we've opted for a much shorter two-hour trek to Niagara Falls, which I am definitely looking forward to (I've never been there! Any suggestions for things to do?), as our "last hurrah" vaca before our twosome increases by 50%. While I am definitely excited, I have caught myself more than once wistfully looking over the beach pictures I've collected over the years (some of which I've included in this post). Nags Head, I shall return!

23.3 weeks... and finally, some belly pics!

Here's a progression of belly shots... I had every intention to do one every week... but obviously that hasn't happened! As you can see, somewhere around 21 weeks or so, this baby decided she was going to take over my body. No wonder strangers can tell (granted, I don't usually wear such tight clothes outof the house...)!!

13 weeks 1 day:


14 weeks, 1 day:


17 weeks, 2 days:


21 weeks, 6 days:


23 weeks, 2 days (yesterday...
and the only day I actually have makeup on, haha):









(Notice the kid seems to have finally moved up a bit in the last week or so? Woo hoo for bending a little more easily!)


How far along? 23 weeks 3 days

Total weight gain/loss: I think I'm at 12 pounds now...
Maternity clothes? Sudden belly enormity has caused me to wear VERY few normal shirts anymore; they're too damn short! Still able to rock regular pants w/ a bella band/rubber band, though.
Stretch marks? Nope
Sleep: I got my AWESOME Snoogle a week or so ago, and then my a.hole dog peed on the end of it. It was the worst day of life (haaaaaa I kid). Thankfully my aunt gave me some top secret mountain lady home remedy for animal pee, and the smell is gone. Soo.... sleep is not so bad.

Best moment this week: Seeing my stomach move. My mind was DEFINTELY flitting to Aliens and Sigourney Weaver. So.... gross, yet amazing.
Movement: All the time, but a baby was born stillborn in my hospital this past week and it sent me into a dizzying downward spiral of fear that every time my baby doesn't move, she's in distress. I've begun to chill out somewhat, but those "quiet times" are pretty damn nervewracking!
Food cravings: I'm not really feeling anything of late; a couple episodes of OhmyLordIneedMexicanfoodNOW, but that passes pretty quickly.
Gender: As with nearly EVERY other blood relative of mine, she's female
Labor Signs: N/A

Belly Button in or out? Still in...still flat, though
What I miss: Not feeling guilty for ordering a teeny tiny half glass of Mt. Dew at a restaurant; you'd think I was asking for a Long Island Iced Tea or something with the way my waitress, my SIL, and everyone else around looked at me! (Drew assured me I'm being ridiculously paranoid, though I don't think so!)

What I am looking forward to: My online "class"(purely for Act 48 credit hours) being over... I have NO clue how people actually get entire degrees online; I totally respect your dedication, because all the independent work and eye strain staring at a comp is driving me insane! Oh wait... this has nothing to do with the baby. Oh well.
Weekly Wisdom: The excitement of strangers finally recognizing you are pregnant can sometimes be accompanied by the "Oh my Lord... I must HUGE!" thoughts.

Milestones: See Weekly Wisdom; I must have been wearing a shirt that made pregnancy very obvious yesterday or something, because everyone from my former students to crotchety old men on scooters were commenting!

Whew.

After last week's pessimistic entry, it's good to report some good news:

1) My father is out of the hospital and resting not-so-comfortably, which, for him, is a good thing: the fact that he is now bored and itching to get back to work, and overall pissing off my mom with the muttering about wanting to get back into the office shows he is definitely on his way back to normal. Granted, his intense desire to be at work is probably part of the reason all this happened in the first place, so I applaud his boss and my mother's joint efforts to keep him at home resting for a few more days. He seems to be recovering nicely and hasn't had any complications or anything, which is an enormous relief. He's even planning to continue with their visit to see us over the 4th of July, a trip I told them they definitely should not complete if he shows any signs of wear and tear between now and then.

Deep, relief-filled, teary sigh.

2) I spent an evening last week in L&D in our hospital, which actually ended up being a cool thing. I had sporadic Braxton Hicks for a day or two, which eventually progressed into more intense, then rhythmic, cramping every 15 minutes. The office was already closed, so they sent me to the Maternity Ward, where one of my midwives was on-call in the midst of a slow-moving labor process for another woman anyway. I was terrified, and words like "incompetent cervix," "pre-tem labor," "bedrest," and "fetal demise" kept swimming through my brain.

Thankfully, all is well - we got to hear the baby's heartbeat again - a loud and clear 160! - and my m/w checked me in all the ways possible and said my cervix was tightly closed and the baby was in no way in distress. I was a little bummed they didn't do an ultrasound, purely for selfish reasons of course - I wanted to get another peek at her gorgeous face. My m/w didn't seem to feel it was necessary, though, so she didn't do one. Lame!.... Though I guess I should be thankful she didn't deem it necessary, because that would have surely meant things didn't look good.

As for diagnosis, the bloodwork and urine tests all came back clear and neg - no UTI, no anything out of the ordinary. (By the way, she had to do a clean catch urine sample using a catheter - something I have never experienced and was none too excited about, I assure you!) She said it was probably the combination of my extreme stress from family issues, plus my sudden urge to do about 10 loads of laundry (even rewashing some clean stuff) and run up and down the stairs 500 times with baskets of clothing, and not drinking enough... so I guess they really aren't lying when they tell you to drink an ungodly amount of water and relax. *Grin.*

The best part of the evening, after knowing everything was alright, was 1) getting to know this particular m/w better, as I've only seen her a handful of times and there is a strong likelihood she will deliver our baby... and she's wonderful!; and 2) seeing the Maternity Ward in a much more positive light - previously the only connection I've had with it was for my recovery from my D&C, and some rather insensitive nurses "helping" me that day... so it's a relief to see that there are some great people there and to get some more specific info on the inner workings of the ward.

****************

In other news, I went into my school yesterday to pick up the FMLA paperwork so it can be Board-approved before the school year starts, and it just made me extremely depressed. The typical leave time is 6 weeks, though they do not pay ANYTHING anyway unless you use up your sick days. I will only have 12 sick days at the beginning of the year - a pathetic number that is due to the fact that so much of my time last year was spent off recovering from my loss/D&C in October and from all my dr's appts I had in the middle of the school day (one thing that annoys me about my ob office: they have a very rigid appt schedule with very little ability to schedule later/earlier appointments). Anyway, looking at the calendar, it seems that IF I deliver on my due date, and only take, say, 7 weeks off, I'll be back in school by December 14. I cannot blieve how little time I will have with our baby before going back to work. Granted, I'll have some flexibility regular 9-to-5ers won't, like a longish lunchbreak where I can run the literal 30 seconds down the hill from school to my MIL's to feed her, and lots of time off on vacations... but it just seems so unfair. Oh, to have Canada's FMLA procedures.....

I also learned they've screwed with my teaching schedule for next year, which is really not too surprising, as it happens every summer. However, I am feeling the nesting/organization urge already, with an intense desire to lesson plan a much as possible through the first semester... and I can't do that if they keep f.ng changing my classes!!! Argh.

Speaking of which, I'm off to my classroom for a couple hours to file some things I unceremoniously shoved into a cabinet at the end of the school year....

Real fear.

My father is in the hospital.

My barely 51-year-old, golf-obsessed, invincible father passed out in the middle of a huge presentation he was giving at work yesterday. Something about his heart.

How very "TV Movie of the Week" of him.

I joke at the apparent stageyness of the situation, but I am a wreck. I live five hours away and both he and my mother are refusing to let me drive down there yet "until we know what's going on." He's been in the hospital since lunchtime yesterday. What the fu** do they need to figure out?! They've done echoes, MRIs, and who knows what else. [By the way, I am in NO way affiliated with the medical field, so please excuse my complete ignorance of procedure names.] Today they are going to to a heart catheter, and may possibly put in a stint.

Apparently, this is all relatively minor, and fairly routine, and he could possibly be home this afternoon. However, this is my father. He's Superman. And all that keep running through my mind are thoughts of my grandfather.

I never knew my maternal grandfather, as he died less than year before I was born. I heard he was a great man, and my mother is still mourning his death. One of my greatest regrets is not meeting him, spending time with him, or truly knowing the beloved, amazing man I was cheated out of having a relationship with. I know what is going on with my father is routine, and I feel so grateful and blessed that it does not appear as serious as it could be. Lord knows too many of my friends have suffered real, terrible tragedies in their immediate families, and I feel selfish and awful putting myself in their league. But I am terrified this is a precursor to larger, more serious things.

And all I keep thinking is I want my child to know her grandfather.

Garage sale love, and an update:

I love, love, looooooove garage sales! We've already scored a sweet antique rocking chair for $20, a diaper champ for $5, and a TON of baby clothes for less than $10.... and I am all set to go again this weekend. Here's to finding some amazing deals!!!!!!!!

I'm 21 weeks today! Holy CRAP. I cannot believe it and feel so blessed. Here's my update (maybe someday I'll be motivated enough to put all my bellypics online!):

How far along? 21 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: Oh boy... went to the dr. on Tuesday, and I was up 10 lbs from my starting weight all of a sudden -I've had quite a "growth" spurt!
Maternity clothes? Still mixing and matching regular and maternity - but reg shirts are getting a little short under my belly, ha
Stretch marks? Nope
Sleep: It's been so hard to sleep on my back - and I've been pushing Drew out of the bed with my two huge body pillows - so I bit the bullet and ordered a Snoogle pillow yesterday. I'm psyched!

Best moment this week: Having Drew feel the baby kick!!!!!
Movement: All the time - I'm even starting to notice her sleeping patterns
Food cravings: Still wanting the fruit, and my 27-year love affair with chocolate has once again returned... no good for the rapid weight gain
Gender: My gut feeling was right! It's a girl!
Labor Signs: N/A

Belly Button in or out? In...a bit flat, though
What I miss: Sleeping on my back.... oh man, do I want to sleep on my back.....

What I am looking forward to: People on the street being SURE I'm pregnant, and not just sporting a healthy beer gut
Weekly Wisdom: Abruptly changing your eating patterns halfway through pregnancy cannot spell good results for your physical well-being.

Milestones: Andrew feeling her move; knowing it's a HER!

Bored already?!

Today is the first day I finally have nothing to do (other than my 20-wk appt at 2:20) - and it is an amazing feeling!!

No last-minute essays or book projects heaped in front of me, courtesy of my underclassmen....

No more senior class trip to plan and execute (which, by the way, went shockingly well, considering it consisted of 87 high school seniors, me, my co-adviser, and five rather incompetent chaperones - half of which were "secretly" drunk the whole time, as ridiculous as that sounds - running amok in Cleveland and Sandusky Ohio for two days)...

No more OTHER million of things to prepare for seniors in the last week of school, including Graduation...

And my favorite of all: no more registry to plan, because it's done! (More or less.) Woo hoo! That was probably the most exhausting of everything I've done in the last two weeks. Seriously. Babies need a lot of shizzzzz.

My classroom is clean, my grades are done, the graduation honor cords and robes are stowed away in the corner of my room, and even my house is clean! I have no idea what to do with myself. I always have a terrible time coming down off the end-of-year manic rush to get everything done; in previous years, I'd taught Summer School, which is only until noon every day, and was a nice gradual flow into the lazier days of summer. This year, I've opted not to, so I have been instantly thrust into a wide open span of two or three months of sloth.

What the hell am I going to do with myself??! I am rereading the sixth Harry Potter book, just for the hell of it.... and, of course, in preparation for the upcoming movie! (That's right: I love Harry Potter. I'm an English teacher: isn't it an obvious thing or me to love all kinds of literature?!) Maybe I'll take up yoga again; after all my spotting paranoia in the 1T I've been too afraid to do anything "overly stretchy." Lame, I know - but I am feeling pretty damn good about this kid right now, who is currently finding my bladder her favorite new kick toy (thankfully those Kegels have thus far paid off!). Plus, I've got a pretty sweet prenatal yoga/exercise DVD I've been itching to start using again; I haven't picked it up since last October.

I unrelated news, my new guilty pleasure is I Didn't Know I was Pregnant on Discovery Health. Oh my Lord, I cannot express how much I love it. It is hilarious, fascinating, frustrating, and terrifying to me, all at once - and the reenactments are cheesy at best, which makes it all the more entertaining! I highly recommend it in a "hey I love documentaries about crazy shit" kind of way. I am in no way trying to be bitch about the seemingly endless supply of cluelessly pregnant women out there - it just boggles my mind how there are truly that many cases of women who carry a baby to full term and never have an inkling. It just goes to show how easily you can explain away a lot of pregnancy issues... though I have no idea how I would be explaining away this belly, and I am only halfway there!!!!! Like I said: fascinating.