GIRL!!!!!!!
Of course, that was the last thing I was thinking of during the long-ass ultrasound (apparently my child favors the feet-above-the-head position, making some pictures hard to take for the tech), but it's awesome to know!!! :)
More later!
Friday, May 29, 2009
Mini-Post: We're having a....
Of course, that was the last thing I was thinking of during the long-ass ultrasound (apparently my child favors the feet-above-the-head position, making some pictures hard to take for the tech), but it's awesome to know!!! :)
More later!
Monday, May 25, 2009
Psychotic immature whining about to ensue....
My sister is pregnant.
My little, bitty, baby.... okay, 22-year-old.... sister. Granted, she is 22. But she is still in college, and has over a year left. She JUST got married in December... and they started dating in October. Seriously. I love her husband (they used to date years ago), and I highly doubt they will ever separate or anything, but what the heck are they doing?! They planned this, apparently as soon as they found out I was pregnant. She stopped taking BCP, thinking it would take a year (seriously... she thought there was zero chance she could get pregnant right now), literally within weeks of her husband getting laid off of work. Oh, and they have zero savings, and tons of debt, and are chronic animal lovers (DEFINITELY not a fault.... when you have the adequate means to take care of them) and have adopted five dogs, four cats, two goats, two guinea pigs, a chinchilla, three rats, some kind of parrot, rabbits, a chicken, a squirrel.... I know I am forgetting a few things, and am in NO way exaggerating.... literally all since December. By the way, he is on unemployment, and she is taking a semester off school and is working at a vet full-time making about $10/hr. She has no idea how far along she is, possibly six weeks, and she is already telling everyone.
Now I have several major, legitimate problems with this, and several majorly irrational, selfish problems with this.
Logical/legitimate:
1) They are in serious debt, and have very little income right now
2) She has stated numerous times in the past year how she wanted to finish her college education before starting a family, and now it looks like she's at least complicated that
3) They've only been married five months, and only together for seven - is there some major reason they are rushing into this like one of them only have two years to live or something?!
4) They are already caring for five houses'-worth of animals, and have zero intention of giving them up
5) She hasn't even been to a doctor yet and they are already shouting it from the fucking rooftops... this is stupid because a) she should realize by now, given my history of miscarriage... as well as her best friend's... and our older sister's... that being cautious in the first trimester is not for the paranoid or hyperchondriatic, b) she has prior conditions stemming from a botched appendectomy that complicate things for her in that area, including tons of scarring, etc., and c) she is a red bull/monster drink addict, literally consuming 4-5 a day up until yesterday.
Much less logical/totally immature:
1) It has been nine years since there has been a grandchild on my side of the family, and everyone has been focusing on my pregnancy... something they rarely do since I am the one who "no one has to worry about" because we've tended to do things the traditional, college-then-house-then-pay-off-debt-then-save-then-have-a-kid route.... so I am not exactly fodder for my family's discussions. It's been pretty nice being the focus. Now my insanely irresponsible (by long-standing reputation), erratic little sister has gone and gotten knocked up, and it's much more interesting to talk about....and even care about.
2) I just have this feeling that even though she has in no way taken care of herself, and probably won't, the baby will be 100% fine. I, on the other hand, can't seem to make babies. Granted, my pregnancy is cruising along right now, but my impending ultrasound this Friday has gripped me with the intense feeling of dread that all will not be well.... again. My idiot sister will have children before me. Everyone will have children before me.
3) She is due somewhere in January or February. Probably January. Now, apparently, I am going to have to haul my ass down to my parents' (5-6 hours away) less than a month after giving birth for her baby shower, celebrating bad decisions. Also, that is apparently the only way she'll be able to see our child, as she's already told me there's no way in hell she's going to try to make it up to my home when my kid's born since she may or may not be in the beginning of her third trimester. My first child. She's cried with me for the past year and a half every time I lost a baby, and up until this point has been one of my biggest cheerleaders, but now it doesn't even matter to her. In addition, my parents are no longer planning to have Christmas at their house for the first time in the history of man because she won't be able to travel there. I guess my newborn will have to wait a few months to see its grandparents again, because they will be driving to see her (in the opposite driection of my house), who I am sure will not want them there when she's almost 9 months pregnant anyway, even though they'll be down there again in a matter of weeks for her delivery.
Oh my Lord, I sound like such a whiny, immature bitch. I HATEHATEHATE how family brings out the worst in me, especially since they are the ones I truly do love most in the world. I just need to get this shit out before I scream it in her face - or my mother's face - or some random stranger's face - and look like an idiot.... because I am sure it would be coming. The thing that made me the most pissed, though, is that she was terrified to tell me because she thought I would get upset. Granted, I am. But I would have never made that apparent to her. I will love and support her no matter what.
Yes, I am pissed. My niece (from our older sister) has gotten nine years of uninterrupted grandparent love, and my parents were so psyched to constantly see our kid. Now they are splitting their time between NW Pennsylvania and North Carolina, which doesn't exactly consitute frequent visits. Plus they are splitting their money - which is definitely the LEAST of my complaints, but still frustrating as my mom just told me yesterday they probably won't buy our crib now that they have to pay for two big things (one for each of us).... of course I am seriously not being greedy here but more worried - we hadn't saved for that because we have thought since last fall that was covered, and now who knows how we will do it.... because my retarded sister doesn't research the possible effectiveness of going off birth control.
BUT - back to my previous train of thought - I am just irritated that she is afraid to talk to me about it. I don't think she's competing with me, like she fears. I think she's an irresponsible idiot that has complicated things for me. When I stop thinking selfishly about my own wants and expectations for my family's attention to me, there is still the glaringly obvious fact that, yet again, she didn't think before she did something, and she's not even taking it seriously yet. Hopefully the reality will sink in quickly for her and she'll finally start growing up a bit, for her unborn child's sake at least. I truly do love her and want her, and her family, to be okay. That is the root of all of this.
...And I really am trying to get over the immature reasons I'm mad, too. :)
My little, bitty, baby.... okay, 22-year-old.... sister. Granted, she is 22. But she is still in college, and has over a year left. She JUST got married in December... and they started dating in October. Seriously. I love her husband (they used to date years ago), and I highly doubt they will ever separate or anything, but what the heck are they doing?! They planned this, apparently as soon as they found out I was pregnant. She stopped taking BCP, thinking it would take a year (seriously... she thought there was zero chance she could get pregnant right now), literally within weeks of her husband getting laid off of work. Oh, and they have zero savings, and tons of debt, and are chronic animal lovers (DEFINITELY not a fault.... when you have the adequate means to take care of them) and have adopted five dogs, four cats, two goats, two guinea pigs, a chinchilla, three rats, some kind of parrot, rabbits, a chicken, a squirrel.... I know I am forgetting a few things, and am in NO way exaggerating.... literally all since December. By the way, he is on unemployment, and she is taking a semester off school and is working at a vet full-time making about $10/hr. She has no idea how far along she is, possibly six weeks, and she is already telling everyone.
Now I have several major, legitimate problems with this, and several majorly irrational, selfish problems with this.
Logical/legitimate:
1) They are in serious debt, and have very little income right now
2) She has stated numerous times in the past year how she wanted to finish her college education before starting a family, and now it looks like she's at least complicated that
3) They've only been married five months, and only together for seven - is there some major reason they are rushing into this like one of them only have two years to live or something?!
4) They are already caring for five houses'-worth of animals, and have zero intention of giving them up
5) She hasn't even been to a doctor yet and they are already shouting it from the fucking rooftops... this is stupid because a) she should realize by now, given my history of miscarriage... as well as her best friend's... and our older sister's... that being cautious in the first trimester is not for the paranoid or hyperchondriatic, b) she has prior conditions stemming from a botched appendectomy that complicate things for her in that area, including tons of scarring, etc., and c) she is a red bull/monster drink addict, literally consuming 4-5 a day up until yesterday.
Much less logical/totally immature:
1) It has been nine years since there has been a grandchild on my side of the family, and everyone has been focusing on my pregnancy... something they rarely do since I am the one who "no one has to worry about" because we've tended to do things the traditional, college-then-house-then-pay-off-debt-then-save-then-have-a-kid route.... so I am not exactly fodder for my family's discussions. It's been pretty nice being the focus. Now my insanely irresponsible (by long-standing reputation), erratic little sister has gone and gotten knocked up, and it's much more interesting to talk about....and even care about.
2) I just have this feeling that even though she has in no way taken care of herself, and probably won't, the baby will be 100% fine. I, on the other hand, can't seem to make babies. Granted, my pregnancy is cruising along right now, but my impending ultrasound this Friday has gripped me with the intense feeling of dread that all will not be well.... again. My idiot sister will have children before me. Everyone will have children before me.
3) She is due somewhere in January or February. Probably January. Now, apparently, I am going to have to haul my ass down to my parents' (5-6 hours away) less than a month after giving birth for her baby shower, celebrating bad decisions. Also, that is apparently the only way she'll be able to see our child, as she's already told me there's no way in hell she's going to try to make it up to my home when my kid's born since she may or may not be in the beginning of her third trimester. My first child. She's cried with me for the past year and a half every time I lost a baby, and up until this point has been one of my biggest cheerleaders, but now it doesn't even matter to her. In addition, my parents are no longer planning to have Christmas at their house for the first time in the history of man because she won't be able to travel there. I guess my newborn will have to wait a few months to see its grandparents again, because they will be driving to see her (in the opposite driection of my house), who I am sure will not want them there when she's almost 9 months pregnant anyway, even though they'll be down there again in a matter of weeks for her delivery.
Oh my Lord, I sound like such a whiny, immature bitch. I HATEHATEHATE how family brings out the worst in me, especially since they are the ones I truly do love most in the world. I just need to get this shit out before I scream it in her face - or my mother's face - or some random stranger's face - and look like an idiot.... because I am sure it would be coming. The thing that made me the most pissed, though, is that she was terrified to tell me because she thought I would get upset. Granted, I am. But I would have never made that apparent to her. I will love and support her no matter what.
Yes, I am pissed. My niece (from our older sister) has gotten nine years of uninterrupted grandparent love, and my parents were so psyched to constantly see our kid. Now they are splitting their time between NW Pennsylvania and North Carolina, which doesn't exactly consitute frequent visits. Plus they are splitting their money - which is definitely the LEAST of my complaints, but still frustrating as my mom just told me yesterday they probably won't buy our crib now that they have to pay for two big things (one for each of us).... of course I am seriously not being greedy here but more worried - we hadn't saved for that because we have thought since last fall that was covered, and now who knows how we will do it.... because my retarded sister doesn't research the possible effectiveness of going off birth control.
BUT - back to my previous train of thought - I am just irritated that she is afraid to talk to me about it. I don't think she's competing with me, like she fears. I think she's an irresponsible idiot that has complicated things for me. When I stop thinking selfishly about my own wants and expectations for my family's attention to me, there is still the glaringly obvious fact that, yet again, she didn't think before she did something, and she's not even taking it seriously yet. Hopefully the reality will sink in quickly for her and she'll finally start growing up a bit, for her unborn child's sake at least. I truly do love her and want her, and her family, to be okay. That is the root of all of this.
...And I really am trying to get over the immature reasons I'm mad, too. :)
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Seventeen weeks? ME?! You crazy.
Yes, I am the WORST blogger ever... and the next few weeks probably won't get any better. April and May in any school setting is insane, I am sure, and mine is no exception. Ay yay yay!
So here's an update:
So here's an update:
How far along? 17 weeks and 1 day
Total weight gain/loss: Finally up two lbs... but my face looks more like ten. I thought I was carrying this kid in my ute, not my cheeks!
Maternity clothes? Some pants - bought a couple shirts I haven't really worn yet - still managing to rock the Bella bands at work with my regular pants (trying to hold out for the last few weeks)
Stretch marks? Nope
Sleep: Waking up to pee at least once, usually twice - easy to pass out, but wake up quite a bit.
Maternity clothes? Some pants - bought a couple shirts I haven't really worn yet - still managing to rock the Bella bands at work with my regular pants (trying to hold out for the last few weeks)
Stretch marks? Nope
Sleep: Waking up to pee at least once, usually twice - easy to pass out, but wake up quite a bit.
Best moment this week: About 95% sure the baby was kicking me for about ten minutes... on Mother's Day! Also: great, uneventful appt on Tuesday.
Movement: See above - I am almost positive that's what I am feeling every now and then, but totally doubt myself
Food cravings: All I've wanted lately is fruit, of all kinds. Mmmmm.... smoothies....
Gender: Still thinking girl, but a couple times had an overwhelming "boy" sensation - so who knows
Labor Signs: N/A
Movement: See above - I am almost positive that's what I am feeling every now and then, but totally doubt myself
Food cravings: All I've wanted lately is fruit, of all kinds. Mmmmm.... smoothies....
Gender: Still thinking girl, but a couple times had an overwhelming "boy" sensation - so who knows
Labor Signs: N/A
Belly Button in or out? In...but beginning to widen a bit (clearly seeing the inside of my belly button is cracking me up for some reason)
What I miss: Mt. Dew - though I cracked and had about half a glass the other night; my Lucky jeans (no way my newly large and in charge ass is fitting in those for awhile!)
What I miss: Mt. Dew - though I cracked and had about half a glass the other night; my Lucky jeans (no way my newly large and in charge ass is fitting in those for awhile!)
What I am looking forward to: My ultrasound on May 29 - open leg vibes, everyone!
Weekly Wisdom: Just because you are finally starting to feel better doesn't mean you are superwoman. Chill out or you'll end up crashing in the middle of 7th period.... not that I've done that.... (yet?)
Weekly Wisdom: Just because you are finally starting to feel better doesn't mean you are superwoman. Chill out or you'll end up crashing in the middle of 7th period.... not that I've done that.... (yet?)
Milestones: POSSIBLY feeling the baby move... verification to come soon, I hope!
I love and hate the end of the school year. There's so much excitement and anticipation, especially from my seniors (their last day of school is TUESDAY!)... that normally makes me sad, as it inevitably takes me back to May/June of 1999, deep in rural Southern PA, and my urgency to just get the year the hell over with already. I remember feeling sad because I had an underclassman boyfriend (I know, how scandalous of me) and was miserable at the fact that I wouldn't even spend the last few months before college with him, as I was literally moving three days after graduation to Ocean City MD for the summer.... which was an exhilarating, action-packed way to spend the months before college.... BUT now that I am ten years older and looking at it from the teacher perspective, and hear my students talking about Senior Week at Ocean City, I can't help but think, "Ohhhhhhh Lord... hopefully their parents never, EVER hear the details."
Don't get me wrong - I was responsible (I worked 7-10 hour shifts 6 days a week), BUT I was also 17 years old. God knows how I never got into any serious trouble down there.
But ANYWAY....
Drew and I are headed to Erie in a bit to do some preliminary registry creation, mostly to appease his mother, but also because I am a ridiculous planner and am trying to get as much done now as I can, while I have the energy to do so. I wish my mom could go along for some advice; plus, I really miss her. I haven't seen my family since Christmas, and it's killing me - we are so close emotionally, and I hate that my parents/older sister/niece are five hours away, and my younger sister is closer to twelve hours from here. Bleh. At least I will see all but YoungerSister over Memorial Day. Can't wait!
I love and hate the end of the school year. There's so much excitement and anticipation, especially from my seniors (their last day of school is TUESDAY!)... that normally makes me sad, as it inevitably takes me back to May/June of 1999, deep in rural Southern PA, and my urgency to just get the year the hell over with already. I remember feeling sad because I had an underclassman boyfriend (I know, how scandalous of me) and was miserable at the fact that I wouldn't even spend the last few months before college with him, as I was literally moving three days after graduation to Ocean City MD for the summer.... which was an exhilarating, action-packed way to spend the months before college.... BUT now that I am ten years older and looking at it from the teacher perspective, and hear my students talking about Senior Week at Ocean City, I can't help but think, "Ohhhhhhh Lord... hopefully their parents never, EVER hear the details."
Don't get me wrong - I was responsible (I worked 7-10 hour shifts 6 days a week), BUT I was also 17 years old. God knows how I never got into any serious trouble down there.
But ANYWAY....
Drew and I are headed to Erie in a bit to do some preliminary registry creation, mostly to appease his mother, but also because I am a ridiculous planner and am trying to get as much done now as I can, while I have the energy to do so. I wish my mom could go along for some advice; plus, I really miss her. I haven't seen my family since Christmas, and it's killing me - we are so close emotionally, and I hate that my parents/older sister/niece are five hours away, and my younger sister is closer to twelve hours from here. Bleh. At least I will see all but YoungerSister over Memorial Day. Can't wait!
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