Warning: excessive gooeyness ahead.

I officially do not deserve to call myself a blogger!

This is so pathetic.  How long has it been?!  I am afraid to even check the date of my last post.

Liliana... my sweet Lily.... is perfect.  Absolutely.  Her tiny tuft of blond hair is finally growing in a little fluffier and a little kinkier by the day (she's gonna be a curly-headed babe!).  She is rolling over like a champ, and without ceasing.  She's still bre.astfe.eding (also in a champ-like manner).  This is a personal triumph I'd like to brag about, considering how insanely hard it's been at times to find a time, a place, and overall privacy to pump twice a day in a high school, full of nearly 1000 other people... most of which are hormonal and experiencing all the other joys that go along with being a teenager.

But I TOTALLY digress....

Lily is an absolute joy.  I am completely and totally in love.  We've started trying out a few veggies and some rice cereal in the evenings, and it's been hilarious and fun to see her facial expressions contort as she experiences each new taste and texture.

She actually fake gagged on squash, and grabbed the spoon from my hand and threw it down when I gave her her first mouthful of peas.  Apparently she was not a fan.  Carrots are a favorite so far.  I bought a few books on baby purees, etc.,  and am excited to started making my own as soon as school is over and I have time to steam, blend, and freeze.

She has been cutting the same tooth for almost two months now:  it will begin shredding at her gum, she'll become fussy, drooly, and sleep-screwy for about two days, and then it's like the sun breaking through the clouds after a thunderstorm, and I swear to God it grows back over and heals, and then a week or so later we repeat the process.  Poor baby.  Maybe she'll be toothless forever.

She is sitting up unassisted for about a minute at a time, unless sleepy or super distracted.  Go Lily!  She cackles and belly laughs and shrieks.  She hums when you sing to her and smiles with her entire body.

 She had her 6-month appointment yesterday, and everything was of course awesome - 15 lbs, 10.5 oz, 26 inches.  Rolls everywhere.  Finally able to stop Zantac (poor refluxy baby).  Last round of shots for awhile (thank goodness on my part, haha!).

I am going to TRY to update more often, as a log of her milestones.  One can hope!

...And her poop.... the smell.... now that she has started solids.... Oh. My. LORD.  Epic nast.

I am the mother of a little piggy!!!!

We had our two-week appointment for Lily yesterday, which makes me unspeakably proud and slightly bewildered that we have successfully taken care of a tiny helpless life for that long. It also makes me sad, however: I cannot believe how quickly time is racing by already. Soon I will have to trudge back to work and right after that she will be in college with as fast as she is growing. Sigh.

Speaking of growing.....

As most who have had a child/will have one soon know, babies often lose up to 10% of their birth weight in their first few days of life, and doctors generally want to see it return to their birth weight by the time they are two weeks old. That means Lily, who was 7 lbs, 8 oz, when she was born and then 7 lbs, 1 oz, four days later, should have gained back those seven ounces by yesterday. Now I was totally freaking out about this, because honestly, Lily is a wonderful baby. She rarely cries more than a minute or so, and is very easy to calm down.

What does this have to do with her weight? She often sleeps 2.5- to 3-hour stretches through the day and wakes when she's hungry; often at night it's more like 3.5 hours. Since I'm feeding on demand, I try to let her tell me when she's hungry - which does mean she eats once an hour every once in awhile - though I do wake her if it's more than 3 hours in the day or 3.5-4 at night to feed her. Unfortunately, that doesn't sync with the recommended 8-12 feedings breastfed babies need.... she almost always gets 7 feedings a day (never less, though). If I feed her more often, she gets overfull and tends to spit up more. I have been stressing that she wouldn't regain her weight and I'd be accused of child neglect or something.

...Turns out, I was stressed for nothing. My chunky monkey weighed 8 lbs, 2 oz yesterday. That's right: she's gained over a full pound in a week and a half. Crazy!!!!!! The pediatrician was not in the least concerned with the amount of feedings she was getting since she has been gaining so well. Whew!!!!

In other news, things are going well; my husband went back to work Monday and I've managed to keep my daughter alive and well for the past two days... so far so good, haha! Bre.ast.fee.ding is going better than before, but still a little rocky: my little monster has a crazy suction and she tends to shift her latch midway through a feeding, so I have been fighting some nasty, painful cracking... the LC I talked to said it may take several weeks for them to totally heal; they are better, but it's a slow process.

I really want to write my birth story here soon before I forget it, but I feel a nap is in order for now while Liliana is doing the same thing.

Welcome to the World, Lily!

That's right: four days before my due date, I FINALLY got to meet the most beautiful person in the world:

Liliana Isabella was finally ready to met her mama and daddy on Monday night, 10/19/09, at 9:37 p.m. after seventeen hours of labor (fourteen of which I spent at home!). She was 7 lbs, 8 oz, and 19 inches long, and has a head fuzzed over with light blonde hair - she takes after her daddy on that. Everyone is happy and doing wonderfully, and we have never been more in love with any one thing in this entire universe.

I cannot think of a more joyous post to create on my due date than that!

...Birth story and of course more pictures to come when I can force myself away from her for more than five minutes!

BED REST. [Dun dun dunnnnnnnnn]

Yep, that's right: those dreaded two words were uttered by my OB on Monday evening, after I'd spent about five hours in L&D contracting. Oy vey.

I went into pre-term labor on Monday morning while I was at work - professional development stuff, not in front of students, thank God - and had to stay in the hospital overnight for monitoring. Everything looks good with the baby, thankfully, and they gave me some medicine to stop the contractions, which seems to have worked pretty well. They went from a nearly-continual rolling contraction, to every ten minutes, to every half hour.... and now they are extremely sporadic. It doesn't stop them entirely, but they are VERY mild right now and only happen now if I am walking around a lot or upset about anything...

Because they don't want to take any chances, they put me on bed rest until I am 36 weeks, which is September 25. So.... no teaching any students (or anyone else, for that matter, haha) for me! It's been pretty stressful trying to scramble and get my Leave of Absence paperwork, sub details, and temporary lesson plans taken care of... not easy to do from the couch! haaaaaa

Everything seems to finally be taken care of at school, and I've relaxed quite a bit, and ironically I am having almost no contractions now... so I guess this bed rest truly was necessary. That doesn't make it any less upsetting, though. They haven't found a true cause for it - they think I may just have an "irritable uterus" that's overly sensitive to stressors... so now I can't exercise (oh darn -ha! j/k), limit use on the stairs, no lifting, no standing for long periods, and basically sitting/laying my ass on the couch for the next three weeks. The doctor said once I hit 36 weeks I can stop taking the meds and go back to work, and if I go into labor that day he won't care.

Uh... what?!

I know the baby will be fine, but that is just a nearly terrifying thought on my part. A whole month early?! I was falling apart at the thought of possibly delivering her at 32 & 1/2 weeks, and simply waiting a few weeks really isn't helping me feel much better about it. They didn't give me any steroids to develop her lungs at this point, but they will need to at 36 weeks. I hate the fact that I'm continually medicating myself to stop ctx now; adding steroids to the mix to atificially pump up her lungs is not any better in my mind.

I just wish my body would have worked the way it was supposed to. I feel like I'm failing at carrying my baby.

Bored already?!

Today is the first day I finally have nothing to do (other than my 20-wk appt at 2:20) - and it is an amazing feeling!!

No last-minute essays or book projects heaped in front of me, courtesy of my underclassmen....

No more senior class trip to plan and execute (which, by the way, went shockingly well, considering it consisted of 87 high school seniors, me, my co-adviser, and five rather incompetent chaperones - half of which were "secretly" drunk the whole time, as ridiculous as that sounds - running amok in Cleveland and Sandusky Ohio for two days)...

No more OTHER million of things to prepare for seniors in the last week of school, including Graduation...

And my favorite of all: no more registry to plan, because it's done! (More or less.) Woo hoo! That was probably the most exhausting of everything I've done in the last two weeks. Seriously. Babies need a lot of shizzzzz.

My classroom is clean, my grades are done, the graduation honor cords and robes are stowed away in the corner of my room, and even my house is clean! I have no idea what to do with myself. I always have a terrible time coming down off the end-of-year manic rush to get everything done; in previous years, I'd taught Summer School, which is only until noon every day, and was a nice gradual flow into the lazier days of summer. This year, I've opted not to, so I have been instantly thrust into a wide open span of two or three months of sloth.

What the hell am I going to do with myself??! I am rereading the sixth Harry Potter book, just for the hell of it.... and, of course, in preparation for the upcoming movie! (That's right: I love Harry Potter. I'm an English teacher: isn't it an obvious thing or me to love all kinds of literature?!) Maybe I'll take up yoga again; after all my spotting paranoia in the 1T I've been too afraid to do anything "overly stretchy." Lame, I know - but I am feeling pretty damn good about this kid right now, who is currently finding my bladder her favorite new kick toy (thankfully those Kegels have thus far paid off!). Plus, I've got a pretty sweet prenatal yoga/exercise DVD I've been itching to start using again; I haven't picked it up since last October.

I unrelated news, my new guilty pleasure is I Didn't Know I was Pregnant on Discovery Health. Oh my Lord, I cannot express how much I love it. It is hilarious, fascinating, frustrating, and terrifying to me, all at once - and the reenactments are cheesy at best, which makes it all the more entertaining! I highly recommend it in a "hey I love documentaries about crazy shit" kind of way. I am in no way trying to be bitch about the seemingly endless supply of cluelessly pregnant women out there - it just boggles my mind how there are truly that many cases of women who carry a baby to full term and never have an inkling. It just goes to show how easily you can explain away a lot of pregnancy issues... though I have no idea how I would be explaining away this belly, and I am only halfway there!!!!! Like I said: fascinating.

Psychotic immature whining about to ensue....

My sister is pregnant.

My little, bitty, baby.... okay, 22-year-old.... sister. Granted, she is 22. But she is still in college, and has over a year left. She JUST got married in December... and they started dating in October. Seriously. I love her husband (they used to date years ago), and I highly doubt they will ever separate or anything, but what the heck are they doing?! They planned this, apparently as soon as they found out I was pregnant. She stopped taking BCP, thinking it would take a year (seriously... she thought there was zero chance she could get pregnant right now), literally within weeks of her husband getting laid off of work. Oh, and they have zero savings, and tons of debt, and are chronic animal lovers (DEFINITELY not a fault.... when you have the adequate means to take care of them) and have adopted five dogs, four cats, two goats, two guinea pigs, a chinchilla, three rats, some kind of parrot, rabbits, a chicken, a squirrel.... I know I am forgetting a few things, and am in NO way exaggerating.... literally all since December. By the way, he is on unemployment, and she is taking a semester off school and is working at a vet full-time making about $10/hr. She has no idea how far along she is, possibly six weeks, and she is already telling everyone.

Now I have several major, legitimate problems with this, and several majorly irrational, selfish problems with this.

Logical/legitimate:
1) They are in serious debt, and have very little income right now
2) She has stated numerous times in the past year how she wanted to finish her college education before starting a family, and now it looks like she's at least complicated that
3) They've only been married five months, and only together for seven - is there some major reason they are rushing into this like one of them only have two years to live or something?!
4) They are already caring for five houses'-worth of animals, and have zero intention of giving them up
5) She hasn't even been to a doctor yet and they are already shouting it from the fucking rooftops... this is stupid because a) she should realize by now, given my history of miscarriage... as well as her best friend's... and our older sister's... that being cautious in the first trimester is not for the paranoid or hyperchondriatic, b) she has prior conditions stemming from a botched appendectomy that complicate things for her in that area, including tons of scarring, etc., and c) she is a red bull/monster drink addict, literally consuming 4-5 a day up until yesterday.

Much less logical/totally immature:
1) It has been nine years since there has been a grandchild on my side of the family, and everyone has been focusing on my pregnancy... something they rarely do since I am the one who "no one has to worry about" because we've tended to do things the traditional, college-then-house-then-pay-off-debt-then-save-then-have-a-kid route.... so I am not exactly fodder for my family's discussions. It's been pretty nice being the focus. Now my insanely irresponsible (by long-standing reputation), erratic little sister has gone and gotten knocked up, and it's much more interesting to talk about....and even care about.
2) I just have this feeling that even though she has in no way taken care of herself, and probably won't, the baby will be 100% fine. I, on the other hand, can't seem to make babies. Granted, my pregnancy is cruising along right now, but my impending ultrasound this Friday has gripped me with the intense feeling of dread that all will not be well.... again. My idiot sister will have children before me. Everyone will have children before me.
3) She is due somewhere in January or February. Probably January. Now, apparently, I am going to have to haul my ass down to my parents' (5-6 hours away) less than a month after giving birth for her baby shower, celebrating bad decisions. Also, that is apparently the only way she'll be able to see our child, as she's already told me there's no way in hell she's going to try to make it up to my home when my kid's born since she may or may not be in the beginning of her third trimester. My first child. She's cried with me for the past year and a half every time I lost a baby, and up until this point has been one of my biggest cheerleaders, but now it doesn't even matter to her. In addition, my parents are no longer planning to have Christmas at their house for the first time in the history of man because she won't be able to travel there. I guess my newborn will have to wait a few months to see its grandparents again, because they will be driving to see her (in the opposite driection of my house), who I am sure will not want them there when she's almost 9 months pregnant anyway, even though they'll be down there again in a matter of weeks for her delivery.

Oh my Lord, I sound like such a whiny, immature bitch. I HATEHATEHATE how family brings out the worst in me, especially since they are the ones I truly do love most in the world. I just need to get this shit out before I scream it in her face - or my mother's face - or some random stranger's face - and look like an idiot.... because I am sure it would be coming. The thing that made me the most pissed, though, is that she was terrified to tell me because she thought I would get upset. Granted, I am. But I would have never made that apparent to her. I will love and support her no matter what.

Yes, I am pissed. My niece (from our older sister) has gotten nine years of uninterrupted grandparent love, and my parents were so psyched to constantly see our kid. Now they are splitting their time between NW Pennsylvania and North Carolina, which doesn't exactly consitute frequent visits. Plus they are splitting their money - which is definitely the LEAST of my complaints, but still frustrating as my mom just told me yesterday they probably won't buy our crib now that they have to pay for two big things (one for each of us).... of course I am seriously not being greedy here but more worried - we hadn't saved for that because we have thought since last fall that was covered, and now who knows how we will do it.... because my retarded sister doesn't research the possible effectiveness of going off birth control.

BUT - back to my previous train of thought - I am just irritated that she is afraid to talk to me about it. I don't think she's competing with me, like she fears. I think she's an irresponsible idiot that has complicated things for me. When I stop thinking selfishly about my own wants and expectations for my family's attention to me, there is still the glaringly obvious fact that, yet again, she didn't think before she did something, and she's not even taking it seriously yet. Hopefully the reality will sink in quickly for her and she'll finally start growing up a bit, for her unborn child's sake at least. I truly do love her and want her, and her family, to be okay. That is the root of all of this.

...And I really am trying to get over the immature reasons I'm mad, too. :)

14 Week Update

I have been wanting to do this for a few weeks now, but have been too chicken to actually do it. Now that I'm into the 14th week, I figured I would take the plunge.

The hilarious and poignant Blair has done this for weeks in her journal, so all credit goes to her! I unceremoniously stole this from her, but I love it!

How far along? 14 weeks and 2 days

Total weight gain/loss: I initially lost 8 pounds... but have regained 4... at least I'm beginning to gain some weight again (Oh Lord; I will NEVER be happy to gain weight in any other time of my life!)
Maternity clothes? Some pants (eBay is a gold mine for cheap, NWT Gap maternity jeans, FYI!) but have been mostly using the Bella bands at work with my regular pants
Stretch marks? No
Sleep: Sleeping on my back is becoming uncomfortable and I miss it already! I normally wake up at 1:30 or so then again between 4 and 5 to pee. Bleh!

Best moment this week: Finally "coming clean" to my students/ fellow faculty members about being pregnant - and having a lot of my students (boys almost more than the girls) be adorably excited for me
Movement: Can't feel it yet... and can't wait until I do!
Food cravings: Turkey sandwiches... though the thought of heating it up beforehand makes me want to gag. Sigh.
Gender: I really have no idea... but for some reason am leaning toward a girl
Labor Signs: N/A

Belly Button in or out? In...but it's never been a "super-innie," so I have a feeling it will pop pretty early
What I miss: Not being nauseous 95% of the day; lunch meat; Mt. Dew

What I am looking forward to: Feeling the baby move; my next appt (May 12) because they will schedule the "BIG" u/s!!
Weekly Wisdom: Stop apologizing to your husband for doing things around the house if he is not complaining about it. He really does want to help! [This is obviously advice for myself....]
Also, teenagers really have no clue of the concept of trimesters/reasons for waiting to spread the news; I got so many insulted students when they found out how far along I was [rolling my eyes].

Milestones: Finally feeling comfortable enough to say I'm in the 2T/ share the news; finally starting to show!

Does our carpet match our drapes?

HA! ...Sorry, that was gross.

We got new carpet in our upstairs today! Woot!

.... Well, we're halfway there, anyway... apparently the stairs is an "all-day job" that can't be done at the same time all the rest of the upstairs got done.

Here's some pics!!

Background: The house was built in 1900 and we've spent the last three years renovating it room by room. Uh... I say that like I have actually done any of the work, haha. Back in the day - pre-daily puking, that is - I would help paint, etc., but of late it's just been up to poor Drew. To be honest, I think he prefers that anyway, because he's such a perfectionist and would just rather do it himself. We had some nasty old carpet before, but Drew pulled it up -and we found some interesting stain/paint combinations!

By the way, if you've never been acquanted with old houses, bedrooms are generally tiny, and our house is no exception!

For your viewing pleasure:

Back bedroom/ future nursery mid-renovation:
Before carpet:
Post-carpet (view from the other end - and a better representation of the wall color):
Our super loooooooooong hallway pre-carpet:

The hallway post-carpet:
Middle bedroom/den pre-carpet (unfortunately, we didn't get a good shot of the built-ins - this whole room used to be covered in orangey-stained knotty pine boards): Middle bedroom/den post-carpet:
Close-up of the built-ins (and a bit of Drew's butt on the left!! Ra ha haaaaaaaaa!):
Thanks for humoring me in my senseless woo-we-are-finally-allllllllmost-done-renovating-ramble.

Pregnancy update: I officially threw up in the sink for the first time while brushing my teeth this morning. I have hit a new level of disgusting. Granted, I have thrown up just about everywhere else: various faculty bathrooms two in-laws' bathrooms, both of our bathrooms, the bathroom in Lowe's... but never in a sink. Should I be proud? -cause I'm really not.
I have my ten-week appointment on Friday, and I must say, I am TERRIFIED. This was the appointment I had last fall in which they could not find a heartbeat on the doppler... then again a few days later... then... well, I don't even talk about the ultrasound. Not yet. Bleh.

...But we have new carpet!

Gratuitous baby-making post/terror is evident.

So... Reason I have been MIA....

I am pregnant.

And, as per usual, I have been freaking out for the past two months about it. I am not sure why I thought it would take a long time to happen; apparently the GETTING pregnant part isn't the problem... it's the STAYING that way. Two miscarriages in the last year, actually. I have already had my share of scares this time around: at around 4 weeks, I started spotting, which led to a series of hcg levels drawn. They turned out reassuringly awesome. In fact, Dr. Evil - the ob who performed my d&c in October - actually said "Your baby's kicking butt." Pretty good for a guy who literally introduced himself to me/asked me if it was my first prenatal appointment TWO F.ING WEEKS after he performed my g.d. d&c and literally forgot who I was. Classy. I hate him, but the midwives are amazing in the practice. Plus, it's a tiny town, and unless I want to drive 1.5 hours one way to see my doc, I'll have to deal. Bleh.

On to more traumas...


I had a dating u/s on Feb 23 at my OB office, and after the initial "Hey, you're pregnant - let's poke around your body!" exam, they literally left me in the room waiting for the u/s for an hour. I had an impressive panic attack - shaking uncontrollably, rocking back and forth, muttering, sobbing, and ass sweat like you wouldn't believe. HA Srsly.... I destroyed the paper gown with my sweatyness. Thank God for my husband being there, or I would have literally run into the hallway with all my business showing and demanded they let me go home immediately. I just couldn't handle bad news. And then I thought I couldn't handle GOOD news, because it would never truly be "over" -the terror would be a daily visitor.

I was CONVINCED they would find nothing, or another baby with no heartbeat... and they only found a gestational sac. I FREAKED out. They scheduled an u/s appt for the following Friday (a mere four days away, and in no way enough time to see anything I thought). Those were probably the longest, most appetite-less, sobingest four days of my life.

Friday finally came, and again, I freaked in the waiting room at the hospital, and of COURSE this annoying bitchmo who went to college with me/now works with my husband was there getting a 3T u/s for her f.ing TWINS she's carrying... and we had to feign friendly until she got called back. We had the same u/s tech we had for my last pregnancy, and she actually remembered that right away - and brought it up - which only made it worse. I could tell she was doing the math in her head. I had to tell her, for the thousandth time in the past two weeks, that I have been pregnant off and on for a year but have no"live births" to show for it. Thanks Lady.

She was actually pretty nice, though, and looked right away for the baby - wasting no time pissing around taking pictures of ovaries or anything.

And there it was, heart pumping away. It was the most beautiful blob I've ever seen.

...So that's cool, right? Well, I sound completely evil and like a terrible mother already,but I've seen a heartbeat before. I've carried a child for weeks and assumed hewas fine, and that I was safely helping him grow, though he'd already been lost. How do I know this is really going to happen? How can I be sure my body isn't attacking my poor defenseless baby as we speak? Crazy-sounding? Sadly, those are the irrational thoughts constantly running through my brain. True, I feel SICKER than I ever have before. To an exponential degree. ...But is that enough reassurance?

March 27 can't come fast enough.


PS: Teaching high school students while attempting to disguise morning sickness is laughable at best.
*Sigh.*

Anew

It was sunny today. Sunny and 39 degrees!!!! Coming from someone who's seen literally over 100 inches of snow fall on her front lawn this season, complete with temperatures so cold this past week that Drew's car wouldn't even START, this is a major heat wave!! I needed sunglasses!! I saw water running down the street! I could actually see some of the sidewalk/grass/rooftops! Dave didn't need his sweater and actually walked around the block without trying to run back home! I began gratuitously overusing exclamation points to display my enthusiasm! Amazing how my mood is instantly elevated with just a few minutes of vitamin D.

This is especially amusing to me, as my North Carolinnny-dwelling sibs are currently blanketed with snow. Raleigh has, predictably, been shut down for the past couple of days, and naturally, everyone has gone crazy. No rest for the vets, though - and I mean the animal kind, not the fighting kind - so SistervonYounger has been sliding her non-4-wheel-drive to work anyway. Suckaaa!

As of today, the new semester has officially started. I am looking forward to my new students in my two semester electives, and refreshing things with my year-long English classes. New - or revamped rules. New seating charts. New hall pass policy. New configuration of students (This is not really a good thing, as I keep getting all the upper-level dropouts in my low-level classes, yet no one will take MY failing upper-level students! ha. No, really. And a whole truckload of "reformed" students fresh off the Alternative Education track. Woo for public education!). A new start.

Drew has restarted the renovations on our back bedroom... AKA the future nursery. This is one of the few rooms we have left to finish in the house, and was pursued with vigor for a few months.... then suddenly became a project that was unceremoniously dumped the second we found out I had miscarried. Healing is apparent here.

Speaking of which, I was just ruminating a bit about how far I've come emotionally in the past month or two - sure, I've had the choice mini-breakdown here and there, usually at any major holiday or birthday, etc. - but overall, I can safely say I am healed. Not over it. Not by a long shot. The scar is still there. I think of it daily. [I would have been 23 weeks yesterday, as a matter of fact.] It is dark, and ugly, and jagged. Every once in a while, the scar sends phantom pains to my heart. But passed are the days where I would sob at the gas station...or in my classroom... or in the shower... or in the car on the way to work...

...you get the idea.

Yes. I am feeling hopeful and ready to begin anew.


[PS- The links to flickr pics - etc. - are obviously not to my own albums, or even to the area in which I live. Just appealing to those visual learners.]

All Good Things...

...are surely coming to an end.

My wonderful, long-winded, lazy, nonproductive, hilarious, fulfilling, emotional, devastating, long-anticipated Christmas Break (my tiny school district does not care about such things as being Politically Correct - it's Christmas and Easter breaks all the way, baby!) is over.

Finito.
[Etcetera.]

I did NOT do as much grading as I should have, and I only have myself to blame. Who the crap sets aside piles of grading to complete over a less-than-two-week break?! And the MOTHER of all breaks at that?! (....aside from the TRUE MotherofAllBreaks: Summer vaca. But that does not require grading, nor is it something I will gloat about to the masses of non-teachers.... though I see that 2.5-month hiatus as totally justified.... but that is a rantyrave I will save for another day.)

I did, however, get the following done over the last twelve days:

* Spent some much-needed QT with my family... not as much with Drew's, but as 90% of them live in the same town as us, I am not heartbroken over this fact. In fact.... oh, nevermind. I am sure I will get to that some other day. [Dun dun dunnnnnnn!]

* Bought clothing en masse on an I'mBoredLet'sGetOutofThisTinyTown&SpendSomeMoney binge. The buyer's remorse has not yet set in. I'm hoping that means I am allowing myself to splurge a bit since we didn't spend a lot on each other this Christmas.... More likely, I think I really just don't give a crap. ha!

* Brought home - from TheSistervonYounger's House - an adorable yet feisty homeless-looking terrier mix aptly named Dave by my new brudder-in-law. Any little progress the cats have made in the last week in terms of not doing a throw up jr. as a result of their unmitigated terror has been regularly squelched by his attempts to bum rush them the second he sees them walking across the room. Poor Mr. Pancakes and Lion-O.

* Saved ~$150 in cash toward my beloved Sony Reader... because I'm doing this the pre-job, old-fashioned way reminiscent of one's allowance: not involving my husband in this (other than his eye-rolling at me stuffing bills into my sock drawer and stealing his loose change as savings methods); not using the bank accounts or credit cards. It'll be nice. It's a very "I don't have thousands of dollars I pay out yearly to various utilities and college loan officers [etcetcetc]; I just have pocket change" way of imagining my life. Nice.

* Planned all of my classes for the entire month of January. If you have picked up anything of my sense of procrastination (a-la-blogging instead of finishing that grading I'm whining about not completing), you will understand what an unusual event this is.... I am typically planned a week in advance, max (other than the "Oh yeah, we are reading To Kill a Mockingbird in Occ 9 and starting the research project in Ac 12 next" vague sort of planning). Yes, even I can pleasantly surprise myself from time to time.

* Fooled myself into believing I was pregnant again - though there was little reason to believe it in way of timing... I'd say I didn't really care, but I would be, of course, a lying liar. Devastated is more the word. And for some reason I am translating it into a fear of never being able to get pregnant again. I am sure the irrational terror welling inside me every time I think of getting pregnant, staying pregnant, underlying causes for problems, etc., are with me to stay until I have our child laying in my arms. ( - And then a whole NEW set of irrational fears surface, right?!)
Bleh. I know we were supposed to have waited 2-3 cycles anyway, and it would have been foolish economically, as we just took out a short-term disability plan that won't even COUNT if I get pregnant before January 1st.... but.
....So.... in a couple weeks: let the games begin! Hopefully this will all work out okay (taken in whatever context you want).
[Ew. Sorry for that visual, All of You.]

..... Uh.... I'm sure I've done other things, most notably sleeping a hell of a lot. Which just happens to be one of my favorite things to do, so I am in no way complaining!

Hello, 2009 (whom I really do not completely greet until school is back in session)! Let's bring some (in the words of me, about 10 years ago) awesomely bangin' things this way in the next 361 days!