Warning: excessive gooeyness ahead.

I officially do not deserve to call myself a blogger!

This is so pathetic.  How long has it been?!  I am afraid to even check the date of my last post.

Liliana... my sweet Lily.... is perfect.  Absolutely.  Her tiny tuft of blond hair is finally growing in a little fluffier and a little kinkier by the day (she's gonna be a curly-headed babe!).  She is rolling over like a champ, and without ceasing.  She's still bre.astfe.eding (also in a champ-like manner).  This is a personal triumph I'd like to brag about, considering how insanely hard it's been at times to find a time, a place, and overall privacy to pump twice a day in a high school, full of nearly 1000 other people... most of which are hormonal and experiencing all the other joys that go along with being a teenager.

But I TOTALLY digress....

Lily is an absolute joy.  I am completely and totally in love.  We've started trying out a few veggies and some rice cereal in the evenings, and it's been hilarious and fun to see her facial expressions contort as she experiences each new taste and texture.

She actually fake gagged on squash, and grabbed the spoon from my hand and threw it down when I gave her her first mouthful of peas.  Apparently she was not a fan.  Carrots are a favorite so far.  I bought a few books on baby purees, etc.,  and am excited to started making my own as soon as school is over and I have time to steam, blend, and freeze.

She has been cutting the same tooth for almost two months now:  it will begin shredding at her gum, she'll become fussy, drooly, and sleep-screwy for about two days, and then it's like the sun breaking through the clouds after a thunderstorm, and I swear to God it grows back over and heals, and then a week or so later we repeat the process.  Poor baby.  Maybe she'll be toothless forever.

She is sitting up unassisted for about a minute at a time, unless sleepy or super distracted.  Go Lily!  She cackles and belly laughs and shrieks.  She hums when you sing to her and smiles with her entire body.

 She had her 6-month appointment yesterday, and everything was of course awesome - 15 lbs, 10.5 oz, 26 inches.  Rolls everywhere.  Finally able to stop Zantac (poor refluxy baby).  Last round of shots for awhile (thank goodness on my part, haha!).

I am going to TRY to update more often, as a log of her milestones.  One can hope!

...And her poop.... the smell.... now that she has started solids.... Oh. My. LORD.  Epic nast.

I am the mother of a little piggy!!!!

We had our two-week appointment for Lily yesterday, which makes me unspeakably proud and slightly bewildered that we have successfully taken care of a tiny helpless life for that long. It also makes me sad, however: I cannot believe how quickly time is racing by already. Soon I will have to trudge back to work and right after that she will be in college with as fast as she is growing. Sigh.

Speaking of growing.....

As most who have had a child/will have one soon know, babies often lose up to 10% of their birth weight in their first few days of life, and doctors generally want to see it return to their birth weight by the time they are two weeks old. That means Lily, who was 7 lbs, 8 oz, when she was born and then 7 lbs, 1 oz, four days later, should have gained back those seven ounces by yesterday. Now I was totally freaking out about this, because honestly, Lily is a wonderful baby. She rarely cries more than a minute or so, and is very easy to calm down.

What does this have to do with her weight? She often sleeps 2.5- to 3-hour stretches through the day and wakes when she's hungry; often at night it's more like 3.5 hours. Since I'm feeding on demand, I try to let her tell me when she's hungry - which does mean she eats once an hour every once in awhile - though I do wake her if it's more than 3 hours in the day or 3.5-4 at night to feed her. Unfortunately, that doesn't sync with the recommended 8-12 feedings breastfed babies need.... she almost always gets 7 feedings a day (never less, though). If I feed her more often, she gets overfull and tends to spit up more. I have been stressing that she wouldn't regain her weight and I'd be accused of child neglect or something.

...Turns out, I was stressed for nothing. My chunky monkey weighed 8 lbs, 2 oz yesterday. That's right: she's gained over a full pound in a week and a half. Crazy!!!!!! The pediatrician was not in the least concerned with the amount of feedings she was getting since she has been gaining so well. Whew!!!!

In other news, things are going well; my husband went back to work Monday and I've managed to keep my daughter alive and well for the past two days... so far so good, haha! Bre.ast.fee.ding is going better than before, but still a little rocky: my little monster has a crazy suction and she tends to shift her latch midway through a feeding, so I have been fighting some nasty, painful cracking... the LC I talked to said it may take several weeks for them to totally heal; they are better, but it's a slow process.

I really want to write my birth story here soon before I forget it, but I feel a nap is in order for now while Liliana is doing the same thing.

Welcome to the World, Lily!

That's right: four days before my due date, I FINALLY got to meet the most beautiful person in the world:

Liliana Isabella was finally ready to met her mama and daddy on Monday night, 10/19/09, at 9:37 p.m. after seventeen hours of labor (fourteen of which I spent at home!). She was 7 lbs, 8 oz, and 19 inches long, and has a head fuzzed over with light blonde hair - she takes after her daddy on that. Everyone is happy and doing wonderfully, and we have never been more in love with any one thing in this entire universe.

I cannot think of a more joyous post to create on my due date than that!

...Birth story and of course more pictures to come when I can force myself away from her for more than five minutes!

Kidney update!!!

The swelling has improved!!!!! No stent - or surgery - for me!!!!!!!!

(...unless this child turns into an elephant baby before she is born and presses an ungodly amount of pressure on my kidney, that is. Good news is, the doctor doesn't seem to think that is likely.)

I just have to have a few more follow-up ultrasounds/appointments, a few easy-to-follow precautions, and the warning not to panic if I still have tenderness for a few weeks after delivery - apparently it takes awhile sometimes for the swelling to completely go down and the kidney function to return to normal.

*massive sigh of relief*

Holy Toledo

Holy hell, I'm 30 weeks today!!! I'm bouncing between extreme excitement, unbelievable anxiety, and pure helplessness at this point. I suppose none of those emotions will go away once I actually have this kiddo in my arms, eh? ha

I haven't done this in awhile....

How far along? 30 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: 22-24 lbs, depending on whose scale you are looking at.
Maternity clothes? No denying that!
Stretch marks? Not yet...
Sleep: Between the crazy parenting anxiety dreams that have cropped up in the last few days, getting up 3x to pee, the fact that my normally incredible sleep.number bed is uncomfortable no matter what, and this heat wave our a/c can't keep up with = not great.

Best moment this week: Seeing and feeling real evidence of the baby responding to my and my husband's voices... it's the most heart-melting event yet!
Movement: She definitely has regular sleep patterns now, and constant hiccups (which I evilly think is hilarious), but the kid is transverse, so hopefully she will boogie into a heads-down position soon. Also: my belly-button has a bruise around it! No lie. She seems to take her feet and push out on it as hard as she can, several times a day. Lovely child.
Food cravings: Nothing at the moment - I don't have a lot of stomach room, so nothing sounds too appealing anymore
Gender: girl
Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks once or twice a day

Belly Button in or out? Nonexistent? Completely flat.
What I miss: Strangers not coming up and telling me I MUST be wrong on my due date and I HAVE to be full-term already. Apparently I'm the size of a hippo to some people.

What I am looking forward to: Getting the nursery finished - I really hate waiting around for furniture, etc. I'm getting extremely antsy/anxious about everything getting done in time.
Weekly Wisdom: Go to Mother.hood/someplace comparable and get a bra fitting - regularly! You might not realize you've grown as much as you have, and that upper-back pain might actually be from the wrong bra!

Milestones: Being 75% of the way done with this pregnancy - it's insane to realize! And apparently by now, if for some terrible reason I were to deliver today, our little baby (still with no name, poor girl!) would have >95% chance of being healthy! It's such an unspeakable relief.

Bored already?!

Today is the first day I finally have nothing to do (other than my 20-wk appt at 2:20) - and it is an amazing feeling!!

No last-minute essays or book projects heaped in front of me, courtesy of my underclassmen....

No more senior class trip to plan and execute (which, by the way, went shockingly well, considering it consisted of 87 high school seniors, me, my co-adviser, and five rather incompetent chaperones - half of which were "secretly" drunk the whole time, as ridiculous as that sounds - running amok in Cleveland and Sandusky Ohio for two days)...

No more OTHER million of things to prepare for seniors in the last week of school, including Graduation...

And my favorite of all: no more registry to plan, because it's done! (More or less.) Woo hoo! That was probably the most exhausting of everything I've done in the last two weeks. Seriously. Babies need a lot of shizzzzz.

My classroom is clean, my grades are done, the graduation honor cords and robes are stowed away in the corner of my room, and even my house is clean! I have no idea what to do with myself. I always have a terrible time coming down off the end-of-year manic rush to get everything done; in previous years, I'd taught Summer School, which is only until noon every day, and was a nice gradual flow into the lazier days of summer. This year, I've opted not to, so I have been instantly thrust into a wide open span of two or three months of sloth.

What the hell am I going to do with myself??! I am rereading the sixth Harry Potter book, just for the hell of it.... and, of course, in preparation for the upcoming movie! (That's right: I love Harry Potter. I'm an English teacher: isn't it an obvious thing or me to love all kinds of literature?!) Maybe I'll take up yoga again; after all my spotting paranoia in the 1T I've been too afraid to do anything "overly stretchy." Lame, I know - but I am feeling pretty damn good about this kid right now, who is currently finding my bladder her favorite new kick toy (thankfully those Kegels have thus far paid off!). Plus, I've got a pretty sweet prenatal yoga/exercise DVD I've been itching to start using again; I haven't picked it up since last October.

I unrelated news, my new guilty pleasure is I Didn't Know I was Pregnant on Discovery Health. Oh my Lord, I cannot express how much I love it. It is hilarious, fascinating, frustrating, and terrifying to me, all at once - and the reenactments are cheesy at best, which makes it all the more entertaining! I highly recommend it in a "hey I love documentaries about crazy shit" kind of way. I am in no way trying to be bitch about the seemingly endless supply of cluelessly pregnant women out there - it just boggles my mind how there are truly that many cases of women who carry a baby to full term and never have an inkling. It just goes to show how easily you can explain away a lot of pregnancy issues... though I have no idea how I would be explaining away this belly, and I am only halfway there!!!!! Like I said: fascinating.

Really fast

I had my appointment yesterday with Dr. Evil (Have I not explained why he sucks? I shall surely bitch about that soon, then. Thankfully, he is not my main practitioner right now, so it's all good.)

....I am reluctant to admit it, but he really wasn't THAT bad yesterday, with the exception of his five-minute rant on how prenatal vitamins are a scam and you really don't even need that much nurition-wise.... (....uh.... WHAT?!?!) ..... Anyway, he read me my B-12, iron, and electrolytes results and from my research + what he said, everything looks fine and I won't have to go back on my B12 supps.

....And he found the heartbeat right away!!!! Woooo hooooo!!!!!!!!


Looks like we have a real live baby in there. *Giant, face-splitting grin.*


Slightly related: Anyone think stress has anything to do with spotting? I have not spotted at all in the last month with the exception of two, VERY minor/light times, and they were 1) the day before my 10-week appointment, where I was practiacally shitting a brick from terror, and 2) last night after my appt with Dr. Evil. who just freaks me out at the prospect of him giving me ANY news related to my future children. It occurred to me these were moments of high stress and as soon as I had chilled out each time, the spotting disappeared.

Does this theory hold water, or am I just totally making sutff up? Hmmm.... I see much internet searching in my future.....


...But not today! Drew and I are getting our mortage refinanced to take advantage of lower interest rates, and the lady called today and asked if tomorrow at 4:30 was fine; Drew agreed. Now I am avoiding the ENORMOUS pile of laundry that's been sitting at the foot of our bed for the past week and Drew is giving me grumpy looks every time he enters the living room. Must fly!

BEST. APPOINTMENT. EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

....Okay, so I am keeping the Leprechaun motif of a blog style for now. At least until the room stops spinning long enough for me to spend some time figuring things out. Word.

So.... in exciting, wonderful, amazing, relief-filled news:

WE HAVE A BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A real, honest-to-goodness, baby.

Okay, okay: I've known that for oh, six or seven weeks now. However, my ten-week appointment was this past Friday, and I told the new OB in our practice (whom I love, by the way, which is a HUGE relief considering the guy who they are phasing out/she is replacing is an enormadouche) that I was freaking out about it. Which is an understatement, actually. I made myself extra-sick in the days leading up to it. Thankfully, the morning at school was busy enough that I didn't have too much time to freak that day until I was on my way there. Bleh.

At any rate, I told her I was worried about hearing the heartbeat on the doppler because 1) I have a tilted uterus, making it hard to hear, and 2) it was my 10-week appt last fall that caused my world to crash around me for a second time when we couldn't find a heartbeat, etc. - but I alread mentioned that last week. SO.... she didn't even TRY to use the doppler. She left and came back with the portable ultrasound machine!!! Woo!!!!!!

And there it was. Squirming around, wiggling, flipping, and spinning for the entire five minutes she let us watch it. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I, of course, sobbed the entire time. There is absolutely NOTHING that can beat you seeing your teddybear-shaped baby, with its heart beating away and it measuring right on target. Of course, I am sure seing it on my 20-week ultrasound, and holding it in my arms for the very first time will both trump this moment, but I am really not sure. This was the moment that I finally felt free to be excited about this pregnancy. I finally let myself believe that really CAN happen, and this really WILL be different. We WILL have our baby on or around October 23.

The only downside was that they didn't print out any pictures for us. LAME. However, I have been replaying the image in my mind over and over for the past five days.

Really funny moment: The doctor pointed out the heartbeat and asked if we could see it. Both Drew and I said yes. A second later, the baby spun around and faced us - and I said, "Oooh! That's its eyes and mouth, right?" (And it was! It was incredible!) Drew said, "That's awesome!".... SO we get home and I am replaying this moment for my MIL, and Drew interjects with, "Yeah... uh... I didn't see the heartbeat. I had no idea what she was talking about. And I couldn't tell the difference between a head and an ass." It was really hilarious - he was just too ashamed to admit he didn't know what was what, I guess. It was a lot like that moment in Friends where Rachel sees the baby for the first time and has no idea what the baby actually WAS. I explained what was the the baby, what its arms and legs were, etc., and he got all huffy and said, "Well I saw all that!" He's so cute.

Really awkward/upsetting (and potential illegal) moment: When they turned on the ultrasound machine, the name of the last patient who got an u/s was at the top of the screen (hence the potentially-illegal bit). Even WORSE, IT WAS THE NAME OF ONE OF MY FRESHMAN STUDENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I quietly freaked out until I could moan about this to my husband as we were leaving. I couldn't believe it. Granted, this is literally her third year in 9th grade English (sad, I know), so she's not fourteen years old or anything, but I don't really think that makes it any better... she's only sixteen right now. How incredibly sad. And, of course, there's the added annoyance that any f.ing teenager who doesn't want to/doesn't deserve to/shouldn't dream of procreating right now instantly has a breezy, trouble-free pregnancy on the first try. DAH! Granted I feel more sorry for her than pissed right now, as I can imagine the road ahead of her is only going to get worse. I saw her in class yesterday and she said she's missed the last eleven days of school (literally) because she had a cold. Uh.... So I guess I'm not the only one trying to hide their prgnancies right now. Unless, of course, there's some OTHER reason she got an u/s... and there is someone ELSE in our incredibly tiny town that has the same, very unusual name....

Enchilada time!

(Yes, that's the weird thing about my m/s: I don't seem to get sick when eating the odd, spicy, heavy foods: it's more the bland, buttered noodle variety that are making me heave. Hormones are crazy, crazy things.)

Beautiful Things.

A sampling of the amazing talent one can view any day of the week on Flickr.com. This particular set was acquired when typing in "beautiful things."


I couldn't agree more.

[All photos are hyperlinked to their original URL - I claim no responsibility for taking any of the above pictures - I am simply a fan and thought they deserved a shoutout!]

A bit of shameless addition of my own is in the form of the Dawson's Creek opening below. It's really not an ode. Oh lord I'm not that sad. Or perhaps the fact that I referenced it at all proves I am, in fact, that sadly pathetic. Okay maybe I am.

Playing with Filters. August 2008. HomeAwayFromHome [Nags Head NC].