BEST. APPOINTMENT. EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

....Okay, so I am keeping the Leprechaun motif of a blog style for now. At least until the room stops spinning long enough for me to spend some time figuring things out. Word.

So.... in exciting, wonderful, amazing, relief-filled news:

WE HAVE A BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A real, honest-to-goodness, baby.

Okay, okay: I've known that for oh, six or seven weeks now. However, my ten-week appointment was this past Friday, and I told the new OB in our practice (whom I love, by the way, which is a HUGE relief considering the guy who they are phasing out/she is replacing is an enormadouche) that I was freaking out about it. Which is an understatement, actually. I made myself extra-sick in the days leading up to it. Thankfully, the morning at school was busy enough that I didn't have too much time to freak that day until I was on my way there. Bleh.

At any rate, I told her I was worried about hearing the heartbeat on the doppler because 1) I have a tilted uterus, making it hard to hear, and 2) it was my 10-week appt last fall that caused my world to crash around me for a second time when we couldn't find a heartbeat, etc. - but I alread mentioned that last week. SO.... she didn't even TRY to use the doppler. She left and came back with the portable ultrasound machine!!! Woo!!!!!!

And there it was. Squirming around, wiggling, flipping, and spinning for the entire five minutes she let us watch it. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I, of course, sobbed the entire time. There is absolutely NOTHING that can beat you seeing your teddybear-shaped baby, with its heart beating away and it measuring right on target. Of course, I am sure seing it on my 20-week ultrasound, and holding it in my arms for the very first time will both trump this moment, but I am really not sure. This was the moment that I finally felt free to be excited about this pregnancy. I finally let myself believe that really CAN happen, and this really WILL be different. We WILL have our baby on or around October 23.

The only downside was that they didn't print out any pictures for us. LAME. However, I have been replaying the image in my mind over and over for the past five days.

Really funny moment: The doctor pointed out the heartbeat and asked if we could see it. Both Drew and I said yes. A second later, the baby spun around and faced us - and I said, "Oooh! That's its eyes and mouth, right?" (And it was! It was incredible!) Drew said, "That's awesome!".... SO we get home and I am replaying this moment for my MIL, and Drew interjects with, "Yeah... uh... I didn't see the heartbeat. I had no idea what she was talking about. And I couldn't tell the difference between a head and an ass." It was really hilarious - he was just too ashamed to admit he didn't know what was what, I guess. It was a lot like that moment in Friends where Rachel sees the baby for the first time and has no idea what the baby actually WAS. I explained what was the the baby, what its arms and legs were, etc., and he got all huffy and said, "Well I saw all that!" He's so cute.

Really awkward/upsetting (and potential illegal) moment: When they turned on the ultrasound machine, the name of the last patient who got an u/s was at the top of the screen (hence the potentially-illegal bit). Even WORSE, IT WAS THE NAME OF ONE OF MY FRESHMAN STUDENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I quietly freaked out until I could moan about this to my husband as we were leaving. I couldn't believe it. Granted, this is literally her third year in 9th grade English (sad, I know), so she's not fourteen years old or anything, but I don't really think that makes it any better... she's only sixteen right now. How incredibly sad. And, of course, there's the added annoyance that any f.ing teenager who doesn't want to/doesn't deserve to/shouldn't dream of procreating right now instantly has a breezy, trouble-free pregnancy on the first try. DAH! Granted I feel more sorry for her than pissed right now, as I can imagine the road ahead of her is only going to get worse. I saw her in class yesterday and she said she's missed the last eleven days of school (literally) because she had a cold. Uh.... So I guess I'm not the only one trying to hide their prgnancies right now. Unless, of course, there's some OTHER reason she got an u/s... and there is someone ELSE in our incredibly tiny town that has the same, very unusual name....

Enchilada time!

(Yes, that's the weird thing about my m/s: I don't seem to get sick when eating the odd, spicy, heavy foods: it's more the bland, buttered noodle variety that are making me heave. Hormones are crazy, crazy things.)

Conan O'Hatin

GAH I was/am having major Html issues with blogger, so I just reverted to a standard template for now.

...And lost all my pics and whatnot!!! Sonofacrotch.

Technology and I have a love-hate relationship. Right now it's much more seething hate on my end, but... eh.

Does our carpet match our drapes?

HA! ...Sorry, that was gross.

We got new carpet in our upstairs today! Woot!

.... Well, we're halfway there, anyway... apparently the stairs is an "all-day job" that can't be done at the same time all the rest of the upstairs got done.

Here's some pics!!

Background: The house was built in 1900 and we've spent the last three years renovating it room by room. Uh... I say that like I have actually done any of the work, haha. Back in the day - pre-daily puking, that is - I would help paint, etc., but of late it's just been up to poor Drew. To be honest, I think he prefers that anyway, because he's such a perfectionist and would just rather do it himself. We had some nasty old carpet before, but Drew pulled it up -and we found some interesting stain/paint combinations!

By the way, if you've never been acquanted with old houses, bedrooms are generally tiny, and our house is no exception!

For your viewing pleasure:

Back bedroom/ future nursery mid-renovation:
Before carpet:
Post-carpet (view from the other end - and a better representation of the wall color):
Our super loooooooooong hallway pre-carpet:

The hallway post-carpet:
Middle bedroom/den pre-carpet (unfortunately, we didn't get a good shot of the built-ins - this whole room used to be covered in orangey-stained knotty pine boards): Middle bedroom/den post-carpet:
Close-up of the built-ins (and a bit of Drew's butt on the left!! Ra ha haaaaaaaaa!):
Thanks for humoring me in my senseless woo-we-are-finally-allllllllmost-done-renovating-ramble.

Pregnancy update: I officially threw up in the sink for the first time while brushing my teeth this morning. I have hit a new level of disgusting. Granted, I have thrown up just about everywhere else: various faculty bathrooms two in-laws' bathrooms, both of our bathrooms, the bathroom in Lowe's... but never in a sink. Should I be proud? -cause I'm really not.
I have my ten-week appointment on Friday, and I must say, I am TERRIFIED. This was the appointment I had last fall in which they could not find a heartbeat on the doppler... then again a few days later... then... well, I don't even talk about the ultrasound. Not yet. Bleh.

...But we have new carpet!

Blehhhhhgggghhhh

I had - have - every intention to keep up this blog as I go through this pregnant journey.

...If only I could will myself to do anything other than sink into the couch and become stuck there the moment I come home, stretched out/banishing Drew to the love seat. Poor guy.

I feel like such a waste of space. I can barely even stand to pick up after myself, as bending over brings the vom creeping up my throat. (Nice image, right?) Seriously... I never thought I would be such a whiner about this, and honestly, I am more thrilled than anyone that my hormones are obviously a million times higher than they were the last two times - but sheesh! I just want to have a little energy... or eat something without forcing it down for fear that it'll come right back up.

So why don't I do anything about it? Well....

*I have a major mental fear of B6 after I took it - for the first time - and it just so happened it was the same day I became afflicted with the worst stomach flu I've had in my adult life. Now I know it didn't trigger the 72 consecutive hours of throwing up which led to compazine suppositories and meclizine pills that made me feel crazy and three days off work.... [whineywhinewhine].... BUT, I just never, EVER want to repeat that again. Maybe I am depriving myself of my best cure. But I just can't shake the stigma.

*No more lemon drops: Drew (bless his heart) bought an enormous bag of lemon drops... but they are mostly fake lemon, and leave the WORST/gag-inducing taste in my mouth. 'Nuff said.

*Similarly, I am just REALLY sick of ginger ale/etc. - the taste is now terrible to me.

*Has anyone actually tried sea bands? They are mucho painful. I can't tell if they really work well or not because I have only been able to stand them for an hour or so at a time.

WOW I am such a complainer!!! Let me end this on a more positive note:

- I have gotten the all-clear from my midwives to fly to Charlotte in a few weeks! I am a bridesmaid in one of my best friends' weddings, and was worried I'd have to make the trip in a car - which will end up being something like an 11-hour drive. They were originally reluctant to let me fly based on my constant spotting - but I've gone a full week without it, so they said it should be fine. Woo hoo!

- Another awesome thing: The third marking period is over in just a week and a half (which in itself is a crazy thought!). Normally at this time I am up to my eyeballs in grading, but somehow I've managed to stay on top of everything and am completely caught up. It's an awesome feeling, especially since I've been feeling so crappy in the evenings and haven't really been up to doing a lot of work in the evenings.

Gratuitous baby-making post/terror is evident.

So... Reason I have been MIA....

I am pregnant.

And, as per usual, I have been freaking out for the past two months about it. I am not sure why I thought it would take a long time to happen; apparently the GETTING pregnant part isn't the problem... it's the STAYING that way. Two miscarriages in the last year, actually. I have already had my share of scares this time around: at around 4 weeks, I started spotting, which led to a series of hcg levels drawn. They turned out reassuringly awesome. In fact, Dr. Evil - the ob who performed my d&c in October - actually said "Your baby's kicking butt." Pretty good for a guy who literally introduced himself to me/asked me if it was my first prenatal appointment TWO F.ING WEEKS after he performed my g.d. d&c and literally forgot who I was. Classy. I hate him, but the midwives are amazing in the practice. Plus, it's a tiny town, and unless I want to drive 1.5 hours one way to see my doc, I'll have to deal. Bleh.

On to more traumas...


I had a dating u/s on Feb 23 at my OB office, and after the initial "Hey, you're pregnant - let's poke around your body!" exam, they literally left me in the room waiting for the u/s for an hour. I had an impressive panic attack - shaking uncontrollably, rocking back and forth, muttering, sobbing, and ass sweat like you wouldn't believe. HA Srsly.... I destroyed the paper gown with my sweatyness. Thank God for my husband being there, or I would have literally run into the hallway with all my business showing and demanded they let me go home immediately. I just couldn't handle bad news. And then I thought I couldn't handle GOOD news, because it would never truly be "over" -the terror would be a daily visitor.

I was CONVINCED they would find nothing, or another baby with no heartbeat... and they only found a gestational sac. I FREAKED out. They scheduled an u/s appt for the following Friday (a mere four days away, and in no way enough time to see anything I thought). Those were probably the longest, most appetite-less, sobingest four days of my life.

Friday finally came, and again, I freaked in the waiting room at the hospital, and of COURSE this annoying bitchmo who went to college with me/now works with my husband was there getting a 3T u/s for her f.ing TWINS she's carrying... and we had to feign friendly until she got called back. We had the same u/s tech we had for my last pregnancy, and she actually remembered that right away - and brought it up - which only made it worse. I could tell she was doing the math in her head. I had to tell her, for the thousandth time in the past two weeks, that I have been pregnant off and on for a year but have no"live births" to show for it. Thanks Lady.

She was actually pretty nice, though, and looked right away for the baby - wasting no time pissing around taking pictures of ovaries or anything.

And there it was, heart pumping away. It was the most beautiful blob I've ever seen.

...So that's cool, right? Well, I sound completely evil and like a terrible mother already,but I've seen a heartbeat before. I've carried a child for weeks and assumed hewas fine, and that I was safely helping him grow, though he'd already been lost. How do I know this is really going to happen? How can I be sure my body isn't attacking my poor defenseless baby as we speak? Crazy-sounding? Sadly, those are the irrational thoughts constantly running through my brain. True, I feel SICKER than I ever have before. To an exponential degree. ...But is that enough reassurance?

March 27 can't come fast enough.


PS: Teaching high school students while attempting to disguise morning sickness is laughable at best.
*Sigh.*

The shiz is back, y'all.

Oh brother; I'm a horrible blogger.

...But I am starving, so I shall actually write something later.


...Or will I?!!!!?!?!?!?!
[Mwa... ha... ha...?]


No, I really will.